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Tuesday, May 29, 2007
i feel so much like slapping myself.. crying... why are u feeling upset over little little things, when there are ppl out there suffering so much more than u... sometimes i feel guilty.. becuz i dun seem to haf any right or reason in the world to feel upset... in the past, i would tell my close frens.. dun compare... dun tell mi i'm not alone.. dun tell mi there are ppl out there goin thru many times worse..so wat if others are worse, so wat if others are oso goin thru wat i'm goin thru.. tis is jus mee.. its how I am feeling.. me and me.. its me who's upset.. but now i jus can't seem to bring myself to say that..

sometimes reading ppl's blog make one reflect.. make one realise and make wiser decisions... opens up another perspective..

but i myself know that, i shdn't even waste time lingering and sinking in this mess.. there's jus had to be sth that can be done... i dun wan to waste energy crying... dun wan to waste time thinking and weeping silently... i wan to be happy... its not easy...

perhaps i'm selfish... perhaps i'm not ready... not ready to stand in others' shoes to think for them.. perhaps.. so i hafta ask myself.. do i wana cont being selfish, or be prepared to sacrifice? answer: unknown.

nopez.. may be not unknown.. i guess i noe the answer.. and to be honest.. tis is it.. i wana be selfish, but obligatory reasons turn me to the other... i dunno if ppl would misunderstand what i'm trying to say.. but i dun care.. its my blog and its my own code of reference.. dun uds nvm la.. jus skip tis part. but not true oso.. i'm contradictory... perhaps like what she said...that my heart breaks each time harsh words are spoken.. but i jus cant bear to chase u out of my life... what has all these mean to me? i dunno... i ought to treasure.. i ought to cherish.. but why are there always things blocking me from doing so... tired.

its time i reali stand on my own to be a strong gal... can't always rely on other ppl... becuz they aren't there all the time.. no one's there all the time... i totally understand that... i'm trying...

                                                                                                          
                                                                                                             Written @ 12:32 AM
When leaves fall the coming of Winter arrives
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