Wednesday, October 03, 2007 if there is one thing now i would want to do, personally, selfishly, not thinking about all the responsibilities and burdens and commitments and activities and quizes and people, i want to go overseas.


board the plane and fly to a foreign land. exchange i considered. would allow me to run far far away from here, from all that i do not wish to think about, do not wish to engage myself in, but yet, i just had to be in it.


call me an escapist. but i would not change my stand. yes, it is the always known phrase whereby you hear people say, don't escape from it, face it. but often, its not the courage of doing it. its the courage to face the consequences behind it. and i'm not ready yet. and its not only fearing of consequences, you need, and have to worry for consequences of others. impact on others. it's not that simple. considering it pushing and forcing you till the throat, everything's at the edge. can i say, hold on for a moment? i can't.


call me an escapist. but i just wish to take a break from everything. 是非之地 - it's true. this is really as such. 是非 is not just narrowly described as gossips. people's words. but its 是与非. the rights and wrongs. the dos and don'ts. the shoulds and shouldn'ts. the positive and negative. how about the grey area? yupz it's there too. too much of 灰色地带.


i'm tired of calling myself the bad guy. tired of trying to do something that's not me. tired to commit myself which made it seem totally not out of freewill. i'm tired.
                                                                                                          
                                                                                                             Written @ 12:46 AM

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